What To Do When You're Dying Inside

The operating system on my older Mac suddenly quit on Tuesday. Over the next few days it quit about 20 times, and I watched myself freeze in anxiety each time the screen overwrote my work with a message saying I needed to retart my computer. My browsers, Mail program and Word all took turns capriciously joining in the fun. One browser even sent me to a PayPal site in South Africa! I wondered if I had a virus (Macs are much less prone to them than PCs). This morning I was waiting at the door when my tech opened for business, hoping he could reinstall the OS and that would resolve the issue.

With practiced fingers he explored Mac's settings and said, "I think your hard drive is failing; that happens on computers that are about this age. I can replace it with a refurbished hard drive that will be like a mirror image of your existing drive." He wrote up the work order, I left my machine and went home to rest. Immediately the metaphor for now clarified:

Our operating system ~ the old way of being in the world ~ is failing. But simply reinstalling it won't solve the problem, because the real issue is larger than that: the entire hard drive (culture) needs an overhaul. We can replace what now exists with a "mirror image": we look in the mirror, reverse who and how we've been, and with refurbished awareness, can continue in the same "body" ~ we needn't actually die, but undergo a symbolic death/rebirth. Caroline Casey refers to this as "the ongoing death and resurrection show."

Much more in-depth info on this and related aspects of our creative evolutionary quest in the July What Shines, out next week (when I have my refurbished laptop back!).

The Leadership Test

I had two interesting encounters with receptionists this morning. Arriving early for my meeting with a prospective client in a café nestled in a small office suite, I had time to creatively quest a copy machine. I wanted to copy a 7-page magazine article, and intended to pay for the privilege. The first office I entered didn't even own a copy machine. At the second, as I stated my request, the receptionist looked at me coolly for a moment, then said, "Let me go ask HR." I thought, "Ask Human Resources if someone can copy a few pages?" But I held my tongue. She came back and suggested I try the company upstairs.

This time, I chose to frame my request a little differently. I smiled as I approached the friendly-looking receptionist and asked if I might make a copy of an article I wrote in order to send it to my parents, as the subject matter concerns them (it's about aging in place). She glanced at the magazine and said with a tinge of wonder, "You wrote that?" [Apparently being a writer still carries a certain cachet in some circles!] I said, "Yes, and I'm happy to pay for the copies. It's just 6 or 7 pages." She said, "Oh, I wouldn't even know what to charge you." When I said most copy places charge 10 cents, she waved my offer away, then had a thought: "We probably have that magazine right here." I looked on the rack by the entrance, and sure enough, there it was. I said, "So, I could just clip out my article?" She answered, "No, go ahead and take the magazine." What if someone else wants to read it? I inquired. She smiled and shrugged, "Take it."

I don't know if either woman has managerial or entrepreneurial aspirations, but my money's on the second one, who took the decision-making reins, thought creatively, and arrived at a solution that was beyond satisfactory. To me, this was a microcosmic lesson in what leadership looks like. What do you think?

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Coda: I realized the next day that this creative response came from the company on the third floor — I had to go right to the top, where she made an executive decision! I laughed out loud as I made the final connection; Spirit has always amused me with its inimitable sense of humor.

Solstice: A Sensuous Bonfire Initiation into Love

The Zombies once sang, "It's the start of the season for loving." Of course their name was a bit of an oxymoron. Today there is no way to both awaken and remain a zombie! It is, with bells on, the season for Loving.

Stargazer Li says the burst of Gemini activity, beginning with the May 20th Solar Eclipse and June 5th Venus Transit, followed by a second New Moon in Gemini leading into the Summer Solstice, "brings much learning and an expansion of communications through words and stories that become integrated into our approaches to living our journey. What we think and say has the power to create, to crystallize something new. Being effortless and magical in our approach, relaxing into the experience of living our amazingness is the gift being offered. Let's be willing to receive it."

Earth-based spirituality pioneer and prolific author Starhawk writes, "This is the time of the rose, blossom and thorn, fragrance and blood. Now on this longest day, light triumphs, and yet begins the decline into the dark. The Sun King grown, embraces the Queen of Summer in a love that is death because it is so complete that all dissolves into the single song of ecstasy that moves the worlds. So the Lord of light dies to himself, and sets sail across the dark seas of time, searching for the Isle of Light that is rebirth. We turn the wheel and share his fate, for we have planted seeds of our own changes and to grow we must accept even the passing of the sun."

And planetary priestess Ariel Spilsbury, co-creator of my much-beloved Mayan Oracle book and card set, writes, "As a collective we now find ourselves perfectly poised and balanced, like a tightrope walker over the Abyss of the Unknown. We have practiced for lifetimes not going into fear, staying centered no matter what appearance arises, so that we can face this initiation of stepping through those appearances into freedom, not in some other lifetime, but in THIS one! Each of us is now facing our personal piece of shadow that is being vibrationally activated and amplified with the intention of clearing it for ourselves AND the collective mindfield of Earth, that we may transition personally and as a species, from the sleepy caterpillar into our awakened, soul butterfly selves. THIS IS NOT JUST A METAPHOR! 



This is actually happening alchemically now on Earth. Within the chrysalis, we are being re-tuned and rewired from the inside out, as a natural part of the vibrational process of evolution, which is dissolving in Solutio, the fractally repeating, shadow material that has dogged us over lifetimes, as a gift of Grace! That isn't to say that we aren't taking radical responsibility and supporting that process with our personal choices for freedom. If we are intending to become the freed butterfly, we are doing just that, through our vigilance in embracing IN LOVE the persistently attached shadow when it arises, rather than denying, judging and rejecting it! (I embrace my shadow, as I embrace my light!) In Alchemy this process is called Umbra-solis...the sun AND its shadow complete the Great Work. Please deeply consider that it isn't the 'getting rid of' or healing shadow, rather the full, loving embrace of it that will complete the Great Work we are engaged in personally and as a species at this time! This is the final clearing of the patterns that are no longer serving our LIBERATION! In this process, Light Itself Can Be Seen as the Final Veil! 



Feel the sensuous, energetic ripple from inside your personal chrysalis that is now inviting you to begin to birth your transmuting self into a new world! That evolutionary potential is being offered through the Divine Feminine portal that opened on the Venus Transit on June 5th 2012 that will be complimented by the male portal completion on Dec 21, 2012. What this open window of evolutionary potential represents, is the unprecedented opportunity to clear, forgive and embrace shadow and simultaneously birth ourselves into a new and expanded frequency of soul expression on Earth, entering the Mystery of the birth of the Blue Sun within our own hearts. 



The result of the birth of that inner blue fire will be the transmutation of our DNA and thus our blood into Sangreal, holy blood, literally changing the valence structure of our blood, so as to sing a Love Song to the Divine One! (If you wish to accelerate this process, watch the following video Solfeggio Harmonics - 528 Love hz). Remember that the heat and passion of Shakti, kundalini, the activation of the blue and gold dragon fire current of life force that moves up the spine, is that which is igniting the collective bonfire for the transmutation of fear into love on this planet. As we practice and embrace this transmutation, it will literally change the way we see reality, as the ecstatically flowing river of light that it actually is. In this moment, I invite you to stop and breathe in the alchemical, golden ecstatic, blue fire, dragon current, this river of light, to ride your blood into pure alchemical gold. Breathe that possibility in! Open to the golden alchemical frequency that is now available, whose intention is the loving release of whatever may still be residual in your being, that cannot stand in or contain this much light. Allow it to be lovingly consumed in the light of Divine Love! These are not just beautiful concepts or words. I encourage you to meditate to experience their truth directly and to personally experience and feel the frequency of alchemical gold light that is now available to transmute anything less than the vibration of unconditional love! 

Let us use the energy of the perfect balance of Summer Solstice as a powerful, planetary acupuncture point, to offer re-balancing to ourselves and Gaia. Celebrate together the powerful window of opportunity that the time we are alive in right now represents. We are entering a new world together ... As the star Maya say, together let us walk the Road of Awe, Xi balba beh into a new world!!

Managing Those Weird Cosmic Aches and Pains…

We're in the birth canal of the greatest shift humanity has ever known. Becoming a light body isn't easy, though it can be a lot more manageable once you understand what's going on! Celia Fenn offers some wise reminders about how the cosmos is affecting us multidimensionally. Excerpted from Radical Shift: The Venus Transit of 2012:

"Venus is the Solar System level of Consciousness that resonates with the Goddess Energy, with Love and Relationship, with Money and with Passion and Beauty. At this time, all these issues are being highlighted and transformed. On a Planetary scale we can see how the Economic system is crumbling, especially in the 'First World' of the USA and Europe, and how it is making space for the 'New Economy' that will take us into a sustainable and co-operative way of living. On the personal level, many people are finding that they are making radical shifts in their attitude towards money, and that the desire for conspicuous consumption has been replaced by the desire to live in an balanced way and in harmony with the Earth. Money is simply a means of achieving a balanced lifestyle, where the focus is on living in the energy of beauty and harmony with all beings and with the Earth.

"In close connection with this is finding work that ignites your Passion for life and is harmony with your soul purpose and brings you Joy. Many of you will be feeling the urge to let go of past ways of work and reaching out for work that is an expression of your Soul and your Passion.

"As far as Personal Relationships are concerned, there will also be tension in partnerships whose basis is no longer in alignment with the purpose of your Soul and the energy of the New Earth. At this point, you will be guided to reconsider your contract in your relationship, or to simply move on to a new partnership that is more aligned with what you are becoming and what you wish to create in your life.

"These energies and challenges will build towards the transit on the 6th, and you may find around that time that there will be some very deep and fundamental changes in your life. Don't panic! This is all leading you towards something better and deeper, and more suited to where you are heading in the time after the 2012 portal!

"You may also be feeling quite intense physical symptoms as your Light Body makes its final adjustments for the Transit and for the later Portal transit. As you bring your Soul Star and Earth Star chakras 'online', you may experience pains and discomfort in the legs, or dizziness and nausea and disorientation, or bouts of flu and colds. These are all part of the process as the DNA activates and the Light Body surges energy through the system to bring everything into harmony and activation. This also activates the Template for Human Divine Perfection in the DNA and activates the ability to go the 'next step' in this ongoing process of Spiritual and Physical Evolution."

If You've Ever Shopped At A Factory Outlet, Read This

Six degrees of separation long ago shrank to three; these days, the connections are so profound it isn't difficult to see how everyone's related, if only by common interest:

A few weeks ago, I decided to take my last pair of Dexter hiking boots to a local consignment store where I shop frequently.  I wore "Dexxies" faithfully as my primary shoes for years; when I purchased this last pair around 2003, I bought several at once, since the Dexter outlet was closing — and even the main store in Dexter, Maine was going out of business. As a consequence, I never wore them; they just accumulated dust on a closet floor, as my shoe tastes evolved. I live "lightly" in terms of possessions, and finally it was time to pass these still-new beloved boots along for someone else to love. So I consigned them.

Today, while reading The Mature Mind: The Positive Power of the Aging Brain by Gene Cohen, MD, PhD (one of myriad books on positive aging I peruse both for client projects and personal interest) I was astonished to discover, in a section on late-life philanthropy, that the founder of the Dexter Shoe Company, Henry Alfond, was the author's wife's great-uncle! Alfond is also credited with creating the first factory outlet store. Originally intended to sell "factory seconds," or slightly damaged goods that could not be sold at retail, Alfond soon expanded the outlet concept to include first quality merchandise from previous seasons. Other retailers began mimicking his model, and soon factory outlet stores sprang up across the country. From there, it was a small leap to factory outlet malls.

Unfortunately, in 1993, a year shy of his 80^th birthday, Alfond sold the company to one of its many suitors, Berkshire Hathaway; eight years later, Warren Buffet folded Dexter and its affiliates into another business. Hence, the demise of my favorite shoe company and outlet store. (Buffet later admitted this was "the worst deal I've made.")

Coda: when I learned my consigned Dexters had not sold as of this morning, I opted to keep them and enjoy one final romp in Dexxies, for however long they may last. These boots were made for walkin', and that's just what they'll do…

So keep your mind and heart open to unexpected connections in unimagined places; when they find you, it engenders a cozy feeling of all-one — which of course we are.