Friday, May 08, 2009

Ultimate Surrender

Commitment precedes manifestation. I know this, and yet, sometimes it takes quite a while for my inner wisdom to prevail over monkey mind.

I've been questing a camper van in which to travel and serve for over 9 months now ~ yes, another birth process, and this baby's been overdue! Although I love northern California, it's been clear to me for some time that my service, which has been virtually-based for the past decade, is asking for a physical presence; while cyberspace is awesome (and I love connecting with people from all over the world!), bringing the activations to you directly adds a level of power and propulsion.

The day after I mentally committed to drive x-country, even if that meant taking my trusty but aged Toyota Corolla and tent camping all the way, the ideal vehicle showed up ~ in Texas. It was posted to Craig's List in San Francisco, however. Clearly, a spiritual test. I was the first to phone, the van seemed to meet all my specs, and I made plans to drive the 1300 miles (across the desert, no air conditioning) in 3 days.

As usual, the trip opened me in ways being stationary does not. While my body has rarely felt so abused, coursing through 100+ degree heat on almost no sleep or food, I simultaneously reaped numerous gifts, deepening my trust and surrender:

• Pulling into Ventura at 7 pm, timing my arrival as near as possible to receive a haircut from my former hair stylist (who is also a professional children's clown ~ and the one who shaved my head 6 years ago!), all avenues appeared blocked. Lucy had not shown up by 9 pm or returned my calls (turned out she got food poisoning that afternoon ~ and had left a note for me on her door, which I somehow failed to find). I also seemingly had no place to sleep. I remembered Lake Casitas near Ojai (about 12 miles away) and headed there, but couldn't find the turn-off where I'd thought it ought to be. Pulled into a gas station and went into the store to ask directions. There's my friend Phil working the counter. (When I lived in Ojai, he was doing graphic design and writing, but tough times prompted this temporary job.) For some reason (needing to catch up with Phil?) the Lake campground was closed, so Phil offered his couch, and I drove to his place, met his housemate, and prepared to get some shut-eye.

• En route to Phoenix, where I had a place to stay thanks to my departure-day Craig's post, requesting a bed or couch for the night, I stopped in a mini-mall just to get a break from the heat of the drive, and spied Wondercuts. Got my hair trimmed for the same price Lucy charges, and released another attachment: to a known hairdresser. Granted, my hairstyle's pretty easy to cut ~ and for someone who was once bald, it shouldn't have even been an issue :-) Interesting how attachments re-grow, like hair itself.

• On to Phoenix, which felt like the gift exchange it was: of the 3 people who responded to my post, Don was as eager for my visit as I was for a place to stay; he called me several times while I was en route to see what I like to eat, etc. I understood that he was lonely (his wife's been gone 4 years) and wanted to talk. I was blessed to be able to listen him into some healing around her passing, and he invited me to stay on as long as I wanted. I left in the morning, having made a new friend.

• Traveling on to El Paso, I affirmed, "I travel only in love. From now on, new avenues of connection for spiritual service open to me, as I travel and serve in my Live Your Light mobile. And so it is!"

Since being here in Texas, there have been additional dramas playing out as Mercury retrograded 5/6, along with the Wesak full moon and Lunar Beltane, today. As I wrote in the May issue of What Shines, Squeeze Play, "We're being energetically squeezed during this unprecedented planetary shift. It's affecting everyone, although what that looks like differs from person to person, making for some strange interactions and a great reminder to take a deep breath before responding from habit when something or someone pushes our buttons. Since we're all being strongly affected by this transition, it's important not to take on energy that is bubbling to the surface to be transmuted ~ to yield rather than shield. This is core training in learning to surrender ~ into strength."

I look forward to seeing you in person soon, as the LiveYourLight mobile travels in service across the U.S. I am also considering painting or decal-ing my logo on the van ~ if you have experience in doing this, and might be interested in an energy exchange, please get in touch!

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